Personal Demons - 2008-2009
Digital print on watercolor paper, 36” x 30”
“Off the cuff, I would say that my personal demon is that I'll never be great at anything. This concept of greatness and striving for greatness both drives and haunts my soul. It could be the result of being a "Jack of all trades" personality where all my life I've been able to do fairly well in no matter what I've tried to do, but I've never been great. So the darkness within me constantly forces me to look at my work, my life, my existence and ask how can I improve? While it may not seem tremendously demonic, having an inner drive that you're not sure that you can ever satisfy is nerve racking. Furthermore, as the demon begins to take shape in this sort of soulless blackness, it grows to recruit self-doubt, over analytical reflection, constant self-evaluation, and endless desire. The irony is that I am supremely (over)confident and sure of myself, but only to the world outside of me. It's this weird balance of overcompensation and too much self-reflection. Again, this isn't as descriptive as I would hope, nor is it saying exactly what I think (describing a demon is very difficult), but it is what it is in a short response to a surprising question.” -- Justin
